5 Not-So-Silly Reasons to Hire Me

Hello, hello again from Funemployment Land. It’s like Disney, but somewhat less expensive and it doesn’t include a monopoly on much of current pop culture.

You’re probably wondering why I talk about myself so much. For starters, I’m an only child, so it comes with the turf to an extent. Not to toot my own horn, but my job right now is to do just that – toot my own horn.

If I don’t advocate for myself, who will? I’d ask my teddy bear, but he’s a bit of the strong silent type.

By the way, you can check out a diverse range of my work on my work samples page. Trust me when I say I’ve written about a little bit of everything. 

Oh, Why Me?

No, this is not me asking for brie cheese to accompany my merlot. This is just me telling you what I’m about.

1. Adaptation is my jam.
   
   In three years of agency life, I’ve amassed so many different new skill sets that I’ve literally lost count. I am now well-versed in:

   MailChimpAdobe Creative Suite (yes, a writer who can use Photoshop)
   Google Analytics
   Unbounce
   Hubspot
   Buffer
   Wordpress
   Salesforce (that’s a bit of a cheat – I learned that at Angie’s List)

   I guess what I’m trying to iterate is that I am a big fan of learning new tricks and techniques to take my writing game to the next level and I’m a fast learner.

   2. I am NOT a flake.

   I love Corn Flakes (or at least I used prior to going gluten-free), but I don’t like flakes in real-life. If I say something will be done, take my word for it. When I am assigned tasks or brainstorm ideas, you are guaranteed it will come to life one way or another. I believe in keeping my promises in my professional and personal lives.

   3. I’m perpetually early.

   I’ve been 15 minutes early to absolutely everything in my life, including meetings that I didn’t know were canceled.

   4. I’m semi-interesting.

   Okay, so maybe this isn’t indicative of job performance. However, I have several major awards for pieces I wrote and produced during my previous life as a journalist. Archie Manning once told me I had an eating disorder. I lived in New Orleans for three years, worked with the Saints for two years, was a guest on my Dad’s beloved “Nancy Grace Show” six times, played roller derby on and off for a decade, and actively practice Brazilian jiu-jitsu and run races. I have a steel trap memory and am the best possible person to have on a trivia team, particularly if it’s musical trivia. In college, my friends invented a drinking game to “Rock and Roll Jeopardy,” in which if I got a question right, everyone else would drink.

   5. I care. 

   I have never half-assed anything in my life. I care about my work and it’s quality and I care how people spell and write. If anything, I probably care too much about grammar and diction. Is there such a thing as caring too much about proper sentence structure?

   

 

Bonus: I do a mean Bart Simpson impression…just ask.