My third season skating as a Naptown Roller Girl is complete. I bouted for the Third Alarm multiple times and even won MVP Jammer during one of our three wins this season. I served as captain of the team twice, with a record of 1-1 (.500 – I’ll take it).
At the start of the season, I was surprised and thrilled to get a Monday invite to start attending the higher-level scrimmage practices with the A and B-teams. It had surpassed my own dreams and goals of advancing as a derby player. I had a shot at potentially skating for the B-team at some point. I remember chatting happily with my Dad on the phone as he sat in hospice, bored out of his mind. He was so proud, even though I’m fairly certain he wasn’t sure what this meant exactly.
As the season progressed, I lost my Dad to cancer. Suddenly, my awareness of time and it’s finite nature hit me like a large opposing blocker on the track.
As of now, my dream of getting a shot at playing with the B-team remains unfulfilled. Roster have come and gone and my name hasn’t appeared, not even as an alternate. I’ve cried, I’ve lamented, I’ve been angry. I’ve also refused to give this up.
I’ve hired a personal trainer and a skating tutor. That’s how seriously I take this mission. I want this for myself and for anyone who has a dream that seems so far out of reach.
I’m willing to gamble that it can be done. My whole life has been full of “no.” I had someone tell me I’d never be on the radio and that I’d have to “settle for a desk job” like she did. I had another person tell me I’d never win Reporter of the Year. I had a third person tell me I’d never be fast enough or strong enough to play with a competitive derby league. A fourth person told me I’d never be a good runner.
4/4 I’ve proven wrong.
Our off-season presents an opportunity for me to step it up. I don’t know how much longer I can play this sport that has given me so much simply because of age and, quite frankly, I have a whole litany of other crazy stuff to do, like maybe taking up cage fighting or finally learning to swim.
I can’t be broken.
I won’t be stopped.
I do not yield and I do not relent.