Pee, Poo, and You

Pictured here are two stuffed creatures, courtesy of our friends in Sweden, reminding us of one certainty in life:

You will have to use the restroom.  

In my 37.5 years on the planet, I’ve “taken care of business” in some fairly dubious locations, including the bathtub at age three.  I emphatically informed my Mom a “brown snake” had jumped into the water.  Shocker-she didn’t believe me.  I also once peed down the goal post on a football field in Dekalb, Illinois many years ago.  Alcohol was involved.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.  Which is why I’m wondering about what appears to be an attempt to regulate this exact topic in the upcoming Indiana legislative session.

A bill is being proposed to legislate where everyone, for lack of a better term, pees and poos.  If you were born one gender, but identify as another, doing your business in the bathroom where you’re most comfortable would suddenly be a bigger problem than what happens after consuming Taco Bell at 3:00 a.m.

If passed, this would likely be a colossal waste of my tax dollars.  My transgender friends are kind and compassionate folks who deserve to live and enjoy life.  That includes going to the bathroom that matches their gender identity because, well, everyone else does it.

From what I’ve read, the penalties for going into the so-called “wrong sh**ter” could include fines and jail time.  Jail time for going to the restroom?  Seriously?

Does our state not have any other pressing issues?  Last I checked, part of 65 near Lafayette crumbled last summer and caused a traffic snarl of Biblical proportions.  Our public education system is mired in political strife and isn’t there some sort of crime issue in Indianapolis?  Yet, our biggest concern is where people tinkle.  Yes, I used the word tinkle.

People pushing for this claim it’s to protect women from “sexual predators.”  Yet, I haven’t seen any hard statistics to back up such an allegation.  Also, many restrooms can only fit one person and, in the case of a couple local spots, barely a whole person at all.

Also, how would enforcement of this work?  Would the state fund a “Potty Patrol” like the Nazi SS?  We also have struggles with law enforcement staffing and I can’t see an officer signing up to serve and protect, only to be told they’re on “potty duty.”

Personally, if there’s an ass-deep line outside the ladies loo, I’ll sneak into the men’s because, quite frankly, UTIs are caused by holding it for too long and that leads to things like kidney stones.

Transgender folks should not be questioned or harassed for having to perform the same bodily functions as everyone else in the restroom in which they identify.

Hoosier state, I chose to move back here more than a decade ago because I was born and reared here and I saw potential.  But, for the sake of everyone, please stay out of our shitters.


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