Last night, sweat rolled down my forehead onto my cheek. I was shaking. It wasn’t from exertion–it was nerves. We learned a bunch of take down methods in Brazilian jiujitsu. One of which involves doing a dance move where you jump onto the person and lock guard around them with your legs.
From there, you can do a myriad of different things, including a headstand move. It requires commitment and trust. As I readied myself to wrap my legs around my partner, my coach told me to “have faith.” It struck a nerve that went far beyond that room.
This past year, I haven’t had much faith in myself. I am always my own worst enemy and critic and I am extremely hard on myself. The goals I set for myself seem to crack and break. In my 20s, it seemed so easy. I’d work hard and move up to the next level professionally. My resume was like a losing game of Tetris of my achievements–piling up as I went along.
Now, I’m not sure what it will take to get someone to notice and take a chance on me. But, I believe now that it has to start with faith in myself.
Believing in myself is something I struggle with, especially as I get older.
Truthfully, I don’t have it bad. I have a job, a home, a loving husband, dogs, Uglydolls, two parents, hobbies I can take part in, and enough money to pay my bills. It could be far worse.
I am talented. I wouldn’t have gotten this far in the professional world without some level of God/genetic-given ability. It’s time I believe that.
Yes, I’ve been rejected more times than I count, but it’s still out there. Nothing lasts forever, especially when determination, drive, passion, and pure talent are in your corner. Good friends help too.
Just have faith.